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(Yes, this is real. No, your boss has no excuse.)
🧠 Narrated by your irradiated lab rat, Ned Neuron
“I’ve ghosted group chats for less. This man got atom-bombed—twice—and still clocked in.”
– Ned Neuron
💥 Hiroshima: AKA “Monday”
Hiroshima.
A man named Tsutomu Yamaguchi is just trying to finish a work trip like a normal marine engineer.
Maybe he's thinking about dinner.
Maybe he’s mad at his socks.
Then—
BOOM.
Atomic. Freaking. Bomb.
The sky turns into a rage-powered flashlight.
Glass explodes. People vanish. Yamaguchi is tossed like a breadstick in a hurricane.
And you know what he does?
He lives.
With burns on his face, ruptured eardrums, and the ultimate excuse to quit his job forever…
He crawls out of nuclear hell...
…and decides to go home.
🚂 Nagasaki: AKA “Are You KIDDING Me?!”
He hops a train.
Burned. Bandaged. Probably still glowing.
Goes back to his hometown of Nagasaki.
And what does our glow-in-the-dark hero do the next morning?
Goes to work.
My guy, Tsutomu, walks into the office like:
“Yo boss, you won’t believe what happened in Hiroshima.”
[cue eye roll]
AND THEN...
Another atomic bomb hits.
☢️ Nuke #2: The Sequel Nobody Ordered
While he's explaining Bomb #1,
Bomb #2 says:
“Surprise, it’s a crossover episode!”
Nagasaki gets atomized.
Yamaguchi is like:
“This feels... personal.”
AND. HE. SURVIVES. AGAIN.
He’s now 2-for-2 on dodging the world’s deadliest airstrikes.
A man so hard to kill, even radiation gave up.
🧪 Let’s Science This Chaos
How did he live through two atomic bombs?
In Hiroshima, he was 3 km from the blast and got lucky behind a wall.
In Nagasaki, he was in a reinforced building (also probably blessed by every known deity).
His internal organs said “Not today, Satan.”
And because fate has a wild sense of humor…
He lived until 93.
Most of us panic when the WiFi blinks.
Tsutomu tanked two nukes and still filed expense reports.
✍️ The Aftermath: Peace, Paperwork, and Plot Armor
Tsutomu Yamaguchi later became an anti-nuclear activist.
He told his story not out of pride, but to warn the world.
His message:
“No one should go through what I did… not even once.”
Respect. 🫡
But also...
Can we all agree he deserves a statue? Or at least a company mug?
🔔 Final Brain Blast (Goofy Edition)
Let’s recap:
✅ Nuked once — survived
✅ Nuked again — survived
✅ Didn’t call out sick
✅ Lived to 93
✅ Had the audacity to keep working
Meanwhile, I once canceled plans because my pants were “too tight emotionally.”
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Also, your boss probably can’t top this story.
So next time you're late to work, just say:
“At least I didn’t survive two nukes and STILL show up.”Share the newsletter
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