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Today’s topic is how the U.S. dollar became the king of all money. Or as I like to call it: ‘The story of how America accidentally became the world’s favorite wallet.’”
Now, full disclosure: I did not study economics. I did, however, once sell 400 Funko Pops on eBay and that feels similar.
Let’s begin.
[Chapter 1: Once Upon a Time, Everyone Liked Gold]
Back in the day—like the 1800s and early 1900s—money wasn’t just green paper. It was gold. People trusted gold. It was shiny, heavy, and if you swallowed it, you knew you were rich and constipated.
So every country said, “Let’s back our money with gold!”
That meant: 1 paper dollar = a specific amount of gold.
This was called the Gold Standard, or as I call it: “The financial version of holding hands during a fire drill.”
But then... World War I happened.
And then... The Great Depression happened.
And then... surprise, World War II happened.
So by 1944, every country was like:
“OKAY, OKAY, LET’S JUST PICK ONE MONEY AND PRETEND THAT’S THE BOSS.”
[Chapter 2: Enter the Bretton Woods Buffet]
In a hotel in New Hampshire (because world domination always starts in a boring hotel), 44 countries gathered for what was basically a giant financial potluck called the Bretton Woods Conference.
The U.S. stood up and said:
“Look, we’ve got a TON of gold, a booming economy, and a fridge full of Pepsi. Let’s make the dollar the center of the global money universe. You bring your currencies. We’ll bring swagger.”
Everyone else:
“Ugh, fine. But we’re keeping our weird coins with holes in them.”
So the system became:
Other countries tie their currency to the dollar
The U.S. dollar stays tied to gold
Everyone agrees not to panic (they panicked anyway)
And thus, the U.S. dollar became international money.
Basically, it was like the popular kid at school who also owned the vending machines.
[Chapter 3: Nixon Ruins the Gold Party]
Fast forward to 1971.
President Richard Nixon was like:
“Hey, we’re spending a LOT of money. Like, way more than we have in gold. So what if... we just… stop tying the dollar to gold?”
The room fell silent. A banker dropped his monocle.
And Nixon, in true chaos mode, said:
“We’re off the gold standard. Good luck everyone.”
This became known as the Nixon Shock, aka “That Time the Global Economy Was a Group Project and One Kid Deleted the Google Doc.”
Now the U.S. dollar wasn’t backed by gold. It was backed by trust.
(Which is terrifying, but here we are.)
[Chapter 4: Why It Still Matters Today (Somehow)]
Even without the gold, the dollar stayed on top because:
The U.S. had strong financial systems (and good branding)
Oil was traded in dollars (thanks, Saudi deal!)
Everyone was too tired to switch
So today, central banks, governments, and your cousin Chad who thinks Dogecoin is a religion… they all still rely on the U.S. dollar.
It’s the international currency for:
Buying oil
Lending money
Bragging rights
Basically, it’s Monopoly money that everyone agreed to treat like it’s sacred.
[Final Notes from Dr. McSnort]
So the next time someone says:
“Why is the dollar still king?”
Just tell them:
“It’s because of World War II, Richard Nixon, and economic peer pressure.”
Or if that’s too long, just say:
“Because the universe is random and no one wants to learn new exchange rates.”
Forward this to someone who thinks “Bretton Woods” is a ski resort.
Or that Nixon was a type of blender.
Share it with your nerdiest friend and learn some nonsense together.
Because knowledge is power—and nonsense is funnier.
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