Ned Neuron….

Resident Explainer of Everything You Never Asked For

Greetings, curious humans and overachieving squirrels.

I’m Ned Neuron—self-declared professor, part-time time traveler, and full-time brainiac with a caffeine addiction. My mission?
To explain science and history in a way that’s 98% true, 2% emotionally unstable.

How I Got Here (Probably)

Legend says I was born during a thunderstorm when a lightning bolt struck a microwave, a Rubik’s Cube, and a history textbook at the same time.
I crawled out holding a lab coat and screaming “EUREKA!”
Ever since, I’ve been on a quest to understand why the world works the way it does—and why so much of it feels like a mistake.

What I Do

Every week, I put on my lab coat (backwards, for good luck) and dive into:

  • Scientific screw-ups (Why bananas are radioactive!)

  • Historical oopsies (How Napoleon lost a war to rabbits.)

  • Mysteries that probably don’t need solving (Can time travel explain missing socks?)

I call these experiments Brain Farts.
They’re small, smelly bursts of wisdom—just enough to make you laugh, think, or snort milk out your nose.

Oh, and did I mention?

I built a time machine.
And went back the time…

I’ve seen history up close — smelled Napoleon’s cologne, high-fived a confused dinosaur, and got kicked out of Ancient Greece for asking too many questions.

Now I’m back… to tell you the true story of how it really went down.
Spoiler: It’s way dumber than your textbooks say.

My Lab Rules

  • Rule #1: If you can’t explain it with tacos or time travel, you’re doing it wrong.

  • Rule #2: Always wear goggles when reading my newsletter. You never know.

  • Rule #3: Laughter is allowed. Learning is optional. Accidental genius moments encouraged.

Credentials

  • Failed science fair champion, 7 years running

  • Inventor of the unit “Oops-per-hour”

  • Featured on Totally Not Accredited Science Weekly (my blog)

Why Trust Me?

Because I read the textbooks so you don’t have to.
Also because I once sneezed and discovered a new element.
(Not legally recognized. Yet.)

Final Thought

If you’ve ever looked at the moon and thought,

“Hmm, I bet there’s a conspiracy about that,”
or
“How did ancient people survive without Wi-Fi?”
you’re my kind of person.

Join me inside the lab.
It’s weird, it’s wild, and it’s mildly educational.
And remember — the real experiment is you.